I have declared the year 2023 as my year of fearless living. That, in itself, would make it a breakthrough year. I have been working on attracting the energies of fearlessness and boldness of spirit. Numerous experiences confirm that I am moving in the right direction to heal some of the experiences that have prevented me from living my best life. Initially, the words “trauma” and “brokenness” surfaced to describe my experiences. Because I am striving to be mindful of the power of words, I declined to use them in this post to describe myself. However, I want you, the reader, to benefit from lessons that have taken me many years to internalize. Remember Tony Robbins’ admonition that the words we habitually use and attach to our experiences become our story. I have talked about my trauma and brokenness all my life. It is time to do the work to heal.
Recently, I attempted to get online to begin my day. However, I discovered that my WIFI connection was down! I almost panicked until I recalled the steps the IT person walked me through when this previously occurred. I quieted a mind that was already racing into panic mode. I reminded myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if my efforts don’t succeed, and I have to contact the IT person?” Remembering the steps, I proceeded to disconnect everything – the power source, battery – everything! To my pleasant surprise, after reconnecting everything and waiting a few minutes, my WIFI was restored.
Often, in the face of life’s challenges, we must get still (rather than panic) to disconnect and, with a renewed spirit of boldness and confidence, proceed anew. The energy that is normally channeled into a fear reaction is redirected to allow creative problem-solving. How would we know and experience a different reaction if our default is panic? Many of us have been beaten down by life; when we feel overwhelmed, a sense of powerlessness can easily overtake us. Before we know it, we find our thoughts and emotions spiraling down the rabbit hole of doubt and insecurity. When we do this, we have triggered the law of attraction, and not in a good way. Just as our positive thoughts attract like thoughts, our negative thoughts attract like thoughts. I invite you to shift your behavior and install some stopgaps before you hit freefall, before you panic, before you give up on the life you want for yourself – the life you convince yourself you cannot have. You know the script: “I can’t have (fill in the blank) because I am (fill in the blank).” As I did when my WIFI went down, remember to disconnect, and reinstall. Reinstall positive thoughts. Declare a spirit of boldness.
Following are some steps that are endorsed by master coaches such as Tony Robbins and others, that I have found useful over time.
- You must know what you want and where you are going. So, get clear on what you want and where you want your life to go. Speak the words; hold them in your mind. Envision what your life would be like with (fill in the blank). Start focusing – even obsessing! – on the thing(s) you desire. In my earlier years, I extensively used visualization as a tool to focus my energy to manifest my goals. Visualization is the use of images and visuals to harness the energy of creative thought in manifesting goals. Treasure maps, vision boards and collages are ways to practice visualization. When visualization is combined with affirmations, meditation, and prayer, these become even more powerful ways to direct the brain’s energies toward the intended goal(s).
- Affirmations are positive self-talk to retrain the brain and to harness energy toward a particular focus. In working to eliminate a belief that I was not enough and therefore, not good enough, my affirmation was, “I am more than good enough to experience all my good.” Another was, “Today in every way I am getting better and better.”
- Focus on the feelings of joy, gratitude, and peace that you will experience when (fill in the blank) is in your life. Tony Robbins reminded viewers that “Thought plus feelings = outcome.” We are powerful individuals whose innate drive is to create. While we are busy complaining about what we don’t have, our energy is going toward that. Robbins suggests an exercise asking, “What was a dream in your life that seemed impossible at a time, but is in your life today? How did it happen?” Get busy reclaiming the power and energy that allowed you to manifest your dream! Pay attention to what is working in your life. What happened to manifest your success?
- Examine your beliefs. Our beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves. Robbins reminds us, “Change your story and you will change your life.” One of the things that keeps us from getting what we really want is the stories we keep telling ourselves about why we don’t and can’t have (fill in the blank). In his podcast Robbins reminds us that our beliefs have the power to create as well as destroy. We must be vigilant and remain in charge of our beliefs. According to Robbins, we must crush the limiting belief systems that get in our way. We must delete stories of limitation and lack, the oppressive patterns that prevent us from living our best lives.
- One of the ways to live our best lives according to Robbins is to rewire our thinking. If we don’t rewire our thinking, nothing will be different, and we will continue to do the same things and expect different results. And we know what that is! Insanity! What have been your limiting belief(s)? Ask yourself, “What does this limiting belief system cost me?” Some other questions Robbins provided: “What is total bull shit about this belief system?” “Why is it not true?” and “What is the truth, that is, the opposite truth that would set me free?”
Now that you possess some basic tools, it is time to annihilate your old “truths” or, more accurately, lies masquerading as truth. Robbins reminds us that the words we attach to our story about who we are literally become who we are. The words we habitually use and attach to our experiences become our story. Eliminate the words and negative emotions that do not serve you. Let your life work for you. When things are going badly, don’t get stressed out. Get up, dust yourself off, reload, recalibrate and in Robbins’ words, “Go all out for the attack and annihilate the problem.” This man is a beast when it comes to personal growth. He lets nothing stand in the way of changing for the better. Remember, in many instances we are fighting for our lives; lives stolen from us that we can reclaim. Les Brown, motivational speaker and author states, “You gotta be hungry!”
Robbins utilizes several questions to move participants towards their goals. One question was particularly insightful for me, “What does the best year of your life look like?” Images of love, travel, romance, writing and publishing, family time, and consulting all surfaced in my responses. “Where are you?” and “Where do you want to go?” made me anticipate his next question, “How are you going to get there?” Dreaming is not enough!
Investing in the most important asset – ourselves – before we leave here to create a legacy is a constant theme of mine. Changing our stories and belief patterns can create a compelling future reassuring us our existence made a difference. To be successful, we must be consistent. We need to believe we deserve joy, abundance, and love.
As I embark on 2023, coming up on 75 years of living on this planet, I am mindful of the principles of the master trainings I’ve attended, and the wisdom of coaches I have sat with over my many years. As an elder, it is time that I employ what Robbins calls, “Massive Action” – that is, stepping up and doing the things I am most afraid of. He reminds us that Big Actions net Big Results. Dreaming is not enough!
It is not enough to understand or know – I, you, we – must change our thinking and conditioning. Are you ready? Set? Go!