Next Level Thinking for Our Breakthrough Year February 2023

Posted on February 20, 2023September 23, 2023 by Qiyamah Rahman

I have declared the year 2023 as my year of fearless living. That, in itself, would make it a breakthrough year. I have been working on attracting the energies of fearlessness and boldness of spirit. Numerous experiences confirm that I am moving in the right direction to heal some of the experiences that have prevented me from living my best life. Initially, the words “trauma” and “brokenness” surfaced to describe my experiences. Because I am striving to be mindful of the power of words, I declined to use them in this post to describe myself. However, I want you, the reader, to benefit from lessons that have taken me many years to internalize. Remember Tony Robbins’ admonition that the words we habitually use and attach to our experiences become our story. I have talked about my trauma and brokenness all my life. It is time to do the work to heal.

Recently, I attempted to get online to begin my day. However, I discovered that my WIFI connection was down! I almost panicked until I recalled the steps the IT person walked me through when this previously occurred. I quieted a mind that was already racing into panic mode. I reminded myself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if my efforts don’t succeed, and I have to contact the IT person?” Remembering the steps, I proceeded to disconnect everything – the power source, battery – everything! To my pleasant surprise, after reconnecting everything and waiting a few minutes, my WIFI was restored.

Often, in the face of life’s challenges, we must get still (rather than panic) to disconnect and, with a renewed spirit of boldness and confidence, proceed anew. The energy that is normally channeled into a fear reaction is redirected to allow creative problem-solving. How would we know and experience a different reaction if our default is panic? Many of us have been beaten down by life; when we feel overwhelmed, a sense of powerlessness can easily overtake us. Before we know it, we find our thoughts and emotions spiraling down the rabbit hole of doubt and insecurity. When we do this, we have triggered the law of attraction, and not in a good way. Just as our positive thoughts attract like thoughts, our negative thoughts attract like thoughts. I invite you to shift your behavior and install some stopgaps before you hit freefall, before you panic, before you give up on the life you want for yourself – the life you convince yourself you cannot have. You know the script: “I can’t have (fill in the blank) because I am (fill in the blank).” As I did when my WIFI went down, remember to disconnect, and reinstall. Reinstall positive thoughts. Declare a spirit of boldness.

Following are some steps that are endorsed by master coaches such as Tony Robbins and others, that I have found useful over time.

You must know what you want and where you are going. So, get clear on what you want and where you want your life to go. Speak the words; hold them in your mind. Envision what your life would be like with (fill in the blank). Start focusing – even obsessing! – on the thing(s) you desire. In my earlier years, I extensively used visualization as a tool to focus my energy to manifest my goals. Visualization is the use of images and visuals to harness the energy of creative thought in manifesting goals. Treasure maps, vision boards and collages are ways to practice visualization. When visualization is combined with affirmations, meditation, and prayer, these become even more powerful ways to direct the brain’s energies toward the intended goal(s).
Affirmations are positive self-talk to retrain the brain and to harness energy toward a particular focus. In working to eliminate a belief that I was not enough and therefore, not good enough, my affirmation was, “I am more than good enough to experience all my good.” Another was, “Today in every way I am getting better and better.”
Focus on the feelings of joy, gratitude, and peace that you will experience when (fill in the blank) is in your life. Tony Robbins reminded viewers that “Thought plus feelings = outcome.” We are powerful individuals whose innate drive is to create. While we are busy complaining about what we don’t have, our energy is going toward that. Robbins suggests an exercise asking, “What was a dream in your life that seemed impossible at a time, but is in your life today? How did it happen?” Get busy reclaiming the power and energy that allowed you to manifest your dream! Pay attention to what is working in your life. What happened to manifest your success?
Examine your beliefs. Our beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves. Robbins reminds us, “Change your story and you will change your life.” One of the things that keeps us from getting what we really want is the stories we keep telling ourselves about why we don’t and can’t have (fill in the blank). In his podcast Robbins reminds us that our beliefs have the power to create as well as destroy. We must be vigilant and remain in charge of our beliefs. According to Robbins, we must crush the limiting belief systems that get in our way. We must delete stories of limitation and lack, the oppressive patterns that prevent us from living our best lives.
One of the ways to live our best lives according to Robbins is to rewire our thinking. If we don’t rewire our thinking, nothing will be different, and we will continue to do the same things and expect different results. And we know what that is! Insanity! What have been your limiting belief(s)? Ask yourself, “What does this limiting belief system cost me?” Some other questions Robbins provided: “What is total bull shit about this belief system?” “Why is it not true?” and “What is the truth, that is, the opposite truth that would set me free?”

Now that you possess some basic tools, it is time to annihilate your old “truths” or, more accurately, lies masquerading as truth. Robbins reminds us that the words we attach to our story about who we are literally become who we are. The words we habitually use and attach to our experiences become our story. Eliminate the words and negative emotions that do not serve you. Let your life work for you. When things are going badly, don’t get stressed out. Get up, dust yourself off, reload, recalibrate and in Robbins’ words, “Go all out for the attack and annihilate the problem.” This man is a beast when it comes to personal growth. He lets nothing stand in the way of changing for the better. Remember, in many instances we are fighting for our lives; lives stolen from us that we can reclaim. Les Brown, motivational speaker and author states, “You gotta be hungry!”

Robbins utilizes several questions to move participants towards their goals. One question was particularly insightful for me, “What does the best year of your life look like?” Images of love, travel, romance, writing and publishing, family time, and consulting all surfaced in my responses. “Where are you?” and “Where do you want to go?” made me anticipate his next question, “How are you going to get there?” Dreaming is not enough!

Investing in the most important asset – ourselves – before we leave here to create a legacy is a constant theme of mine. Changing our stories and belief patterns can create a compelling future reassuring us our existence made a difference. To be successful, we must be consistent. We need to believe we deserve joy, abundance, and love.

As I embark on 2023, coming up on 75 years of living on this planet, I am mindful of the principles of the master trainings I’ve attended, and the wisdom of coaches I have sat with over my many years. As an elder, it is time that I employ what Robbins calls, “Massive Action” – that is, stepping up and doing the things I am most afraid of. He reminds us that Big Actions net Big Results. Dreaming is not enough!

It is not enough to understand or know – I, you, we – must change our thinking and conditioning. Are you ready? Set? Go!

Rev. Q

Beginning March 2021

Posted on March 12, 2021September 23, 2023 by Qiyamah Rahman

When I became a UU in 1992, twenty-nine years ago, I had just entered a doctoral program at Clark Atlanta University in Africana Women’s Studies, a research-focused program. I was able to direct some of my UU interest and passion to the research skills I was acquiring. I soon discovered there was little information on Black UU women. Twenty-nine years later there is still no intentional body of scholarship devoted to Black UU women. That has to change. We can do more collectively about the invisibility of UUs of color in the UU narrative than we can individually. I consider our work of research and publication as a critical part of decentering whiteness in shifting UUs of color from the margins to the center and creating a more accurate narrative.

Assembling the Myriad Bits February 2021

Posted on February 15, 2021September 23, 2023 by Qiyamah Rahman

Lots of essays in my computer waiting to edit for the website. I welcome being able to share them on the website with others. Today began with a worship service at All Souls in DC, followed by a Re-evaluation Counseling session, a quick lunch and then another zoom call. A Come to the Table is The Anthology on Black UU clergy women and it is on the editor’s desk, Mary Benard, at Skinner House Books.

I have to blame it on Mark Morrison-Reed’s book, Black Pioneers in a White Denomination that was published in 1980. The book was released a year before the first Black woman, Rev. Yvonne Seon was ordained and fellowshipped. I am always intrigued by the fact that Black males were welcomed as clergy into Unitarians and Universalists almost one hundred years before Black women. Nevertheless, that was the motivating factor for my interest because I wondered where and who were the Black UU women? My efforts began, to initiate and assemble ideas, research and create something that would be inviting.

During the pandemic I began to think about all this and how to assemble all the myriad bits and pieces of information and how to be in conversation with other writers, researchers, academicians, etc. that were actively writing and researching UU women. I also realized very recently that if there was almost no information on Black UU women, then there was even less, if non-existent, on Black UU girls.

As the Fall, 2020 Minn’s Lecturer I presented a series of three lectures at General Assembly, First Unitarian Church in Chicago and the UU Congregation of Atlanta. In addition, I have done several homilies that allowed me to continue to hone my research. One lecture and panel discussion, titled “Racial Justice & Unitarianism from Reconstruction to WW I,” really pushed me to more deeply explore Black Unitarian women’s roles in the suffragette and temperance movements.

Aha, so much to do and so little time!

Answering the Question October 2020

Posted on October 27, 2020September 23, 2023 by Qiyamah Rahman

Hi Joseph, Mark, Mark, Takiya and Michelle:

I trust each of you is well and safe. I have chosen each of you very carefully because of who you are and because I admire how you show up in the world.

I would like to pick your brains about an idea that I have had for some time. It is a website devoted to Black UU women’s artistic and scholarly pursuits. It would be a “gathering” place for their/our voices and works. I see it as the premier location that would draw UUs and others that want to contribute to the small but growing body of works by/for/about Black UU women and girls. It would become a place that would include: research and funding sources, interviews, advice column, music, art, a roving camera, blogs, and different genres of Black women and girls’ expressive works that provide a glimpse into our lives.

My question is, at this point and time in UU history, should I restrict it to Black UU women and girls or should I create a website for UUs of Color and Latinx women and girls?

I need to pose this question before I get ready to hit the go button. I am actually “interviewing” freelancers to build the website. But I decided to pause because I realize this is bigger than me and I do not want to look back years from now and regret having claimed too small or too large a vision. It never occurred to me to do a personal website because that is too small and I want to gather Black UU women’s and girls’ voices.

It is time. It is past time. I cannot tell you what it felt like to research white women’s entry into UU ministry and to find so much history they have documented and books they have produced about their journey. The envy I felt as a writer and researcher, knowing how I had to scrape to find the smallest bit of info about Black clergy women. And not even having benefit of basic information like how many of us there are. And finally realizing that we would have to create what I was looking for because it did not exist.

Even as I am writing and reflecting I am getting clearer that I must devote this website strictly to Black UU women (femme, transgender, womxn, non-binary) otherwise, the tendency is to go broad and compromise the depth and richness. And that is not what I want. I want deep, deep, rich, rich conversations and research and thoughtful analyses. Going broad will not produce that.

When I say this is my legacy work I am not just saying some words. This is what I am creating and leaving as a representation of my life. Besides my three children, the work I am doing as a writer, griot and researcher is my next most important contribution. Just as I am reading and poring over others’ works I know one day others will discover my words and read, reflect and form an opinion of who I was and what I attempted to do. I want to know I left something of quality. I want others to feel what I feel when I discover information that broadens my understanding and awareness about Black UUs and their presence. I want them to feel that pride and connection that I feel when I read about the champions and superstars and everyday individuals that came before me.

Another practical reason to restrict and narrow the focus on Black UU women and girls is the data base in my brain and on my laptop is becoming so extensive that I cannot stay on top of it. I cannot manage it. I must organize all this information while the neurons are still firing. I was going to share the basic “proposal” I had put together but I cannot find it. None of the possibilities that come to mind have caused it to surface. Right now this is a matter of having too much info in my head and needing to empty some of it out. The website allows for that. But I have been around long enough to speak to elders that I interviewed in the early 2000s who now have some memory loss due to the natural aging process or are suffering from dementia. I do not want to leave it to chance that my efforts will be catalogued.

I should probably delete this email because I have answered the question for myself that I originally posed to each of you. But sharing my thoughts helps me stay connected to each of you in ways that this pandemic seeks to sever.

Blessings!
Qiyamah A. Rahman